Games You Played as a Child that Pissed you Off

Mood: Nostalgic Rage

So back in the day, before there was game shark, before there was a "pussy mode" implemented on games, in a day when the games with the best graphics were pixelated 2D side scrollers, there were games that were infinitely harder than your Modern Warfare on the OMGIWASJUSTBUTTRAPEDBYABRAZILLIANDUDE setting.

So anyway. Imagine you're a little 8-bit character and you have to jump onto a little 8-bit platform that's JUST your size. Not jumping enough, or jumping too far will result in your imminent lava-y death. You fail over and over again to get to that little platform only to realize you have to do it again. TEN MORE TIMES. FFFFFFFFFFF. Only, the farther in you get, these little flying minions will swoop down and try to knock you off said platforms. Or if you hit them while trying to jump you'll die in mid-air. THEN you'll fall into the lava. Oh 80s games, where simply touching a monster gave you fast acting cancer that killed you on the spot. : )

And you think friendly fire is bad? Try friendly fire in a 2-D game where you and your buddy are smashed together in one little area and expected to kill all the enemies without killing one another. Yes, I'm talking about battletoads. This game picked your ass up, kicked it around until you cried, then feasted upon your young, precious tears. Need I remind you of the bike part?

So you think Halo is hard? Went crying to mommy when you got butthurt by the guy that killed you 10 times in Modern Warfare? Zombies eating your brains in Left4Dead? Then you've obviously never played Contra. This game was so hard, there was an entire code made for it to give you 30 lives to start with, yes the famous Konami code. And by god you needed those lives.

And let's not forget the days before checkpoints and memory cards. Yes my friend, you wrote down passwords. And GOD FORBID you should mess up one letter and not be able to get back to level 9/30 in whatever game it was. I guarantee you people had sheets of paper with these passwords written down to share with their friends who also had a bitch of a time getting past a certain point in Mario. (It was the days before internet cheatcodes existed too you schmuck).

But despite all that, some of the best games of all time were released for the early systems. My personal favorite is Streets of Rage 2, which had some of the best video game music and playstyles ever. It was one of the best hack n' slash (relatively speaking considering you used your fists most of the time :P) video games to be released and hardly any can top it. Check out some game play from this epic here. If you're interested in the SoR games you can check out the Streets of Rage Remake project here. I support what they're doing with it, it's an awesome game and I'm looking forward to the full release.

Well that wasn't as ragey as I thought it would be. Oh well. I'm a little bit rusty. And no you're not getting an explanation for why I went a year without posts. I was busy or something. :P

By Request: Highschool Staff

Mood: I'd kill someone if I had a knife

Now as many of you know, there are/were many great and wonderful staff members at your highschool. However, you also know that there are people there that make you want to go knife your wrists in the bathroom, or at least key their car. Now these staff members come in several varities: the childeaters, the brainless morons, and "Haha I think I'm so funny but no one else does".

I'd like to begin with one that hits very close to home for me and probably several of my highschool classmates. The Childeater. These are the kind of people that make you wonder why they work in a school at all: they have no social skills except when they're bitching and complaining about every little thing you happen to do wrong, they lurk around every corner of the building, watching you and waiting for you to screw up, and when you do screw up, you can bet they'll be there, breathing down your neck, ready with a one-way ticket to the deans office.

Now like I mentioned, this hits close to home for me. At my school there are two deans who, I swear, should never have children, and if they do, I feel so sorry for them. Now, the one in particular I'd like to focus on is very, very mean, to put it nicely. I'm not going to name names, but here's a picture for reference:

Ah-hem. Last year, everyday after Japanese class, I'd be wandering down the hall, and they'd be there, standing at the stairwell, glaring as if we were some kind of disgusting monster that deserved the chopping block. If we were laughing or talking, they'd quickly shut us down with a "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS" reminder, and then bitch and nag until we got our IDs out, because God forbid the tiny asian girl (not me) and the average girl carrying a shitload of books (me) should be strangers in this school that somehow got past everyone on the first two floors and were now making our way around the third, looking for victems. I don't even have room in my backpack for my binder, obviously I'm not carrying an AK-47 in there. Reguardless of the situation, s/he was needlessly rude, and always seemed to single me out.

For example: One day I was sitting in Pre-Calc minding my own business when this person came in and asked me to come out into the hall with them. I'm freaking out because maybe one of my parents got into an accident or something, but no, apparently my shirt is too low and I'm "disrupting the learning enviornment" with my cleavage. Ho-lee shit, it's 6th period anyway, who cares? Maybe my boobs are big but that's no reason to single me out. And why aren't you stopping all those Mexican girls wearing haltertops and midriffs anyway, instead of chasing me around? Surely their muffin tops are a lot worse to look at than my cleavage? I'm calling shannagins.

But I digress. I won't pull out the race card just yet, although I'm sure if I wanted I could file a lawsuite against the school for racial discrimination. Anyway, this rant is about highschool staff. In short: Fuck Childeaters, you'll be dead in about 5 years from ulcers do to your mismanaged rage. At least I don't take mine out on kids.

Anyway, onto the group I like to call the Brainless Moron group. Now, normally, teachers teach students, right? Afterall this is the natural order of things. However, sometimes in your highschool career along comes a teacher that knows nothing, quite literally nothing, and you end up telling them how to do their job. The thing is you don't get paid for it.

I thought I'd be blessed, and never have one of these teachers, but this year I got the curse. I have no idea what's going on in my AP chemistry class, and neither does anyone else, which is sad because all of us took general chemistry sophemore or junior year. Or is it? Maybe we just can't follow our teacher, who's about as lost as Helen Keller in a circular room. It's not to say she's bad teacher, it's just do to our school budget cuts, we have a physics major teaching chemistry. Now of course there are some similarities between subjects, but that's like asking a dog how to be a cat. It just doesn't make sense, and it's completely pointless either way.

Now the last subject, "Haha I think I'm so funny but no one else does" is pretty self explanitory, so with that, good people, I bid you adeiu.

People Who Are Easily Offended

There exists in the world, people who are offended so easily, it's pathetic. The kind of people who think "crap" is a bad word, and think anybody who says "weed" is a druggie, and anyone with a tattoo is a wife beater, or that any girl showing a little cleavage is a whore. No, I've not had any complaints about my blog yet, I just thought I'd thwart any incoming complaints with this BUTTHURT REPORT FORM I stole off 4chan.

If I happen to piss you off in anyway, shape or form, please fill out the BUTTHURT REPORT FORM and e-mail it to me. Your issue will be dealt with. Maybe.

Hope this helps to divert any anger and frustration. :) But not so much.

Swine Flu

Mood: D:<

Seeing that I'm in bed sick today with the flu, I thought I'd do a little raging on the devastating effects of last year's "Swine Flu" epidemic. Now we all know that swine flu was just another name for a strain of flu. However, some people decided to take it way out of proportion and act as though the apocalypse was coming, and proceeded to lock themselves and their children up in the house. Because a closed door is going to save you from microscopic creatures. Anyway, I'd like to start us off with a comparison of symptoms of swine flu and regular flu.

Regular Flu Symptoms (Sauce):

• Fever (usually high)
• Headache
• Extreme tiredness
• Dry cough
• Sore throat
• Runny or stuffy nose
• Muscle aches
• Stomach symptoms, such as nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea, also can occur but are more common in children than adults

Swine Flu Symptoms (Sauce):

• Fever above 100.4 °F
• Cough
• Sore throat
• Headache
• Chills
• Muscle aches
• Diarrhea
• Vomiting

Okay...so what's the largest difference between the two?

If you said "one is named after pigs" you'd be right.

So if this is the case, why did so many people freak out about it? I'll tell you why. People in this day and age are fucking stupid. They hear that there's this new "Swine Flu", and that it's transferred over from (oh shit!) Mexico, and people are dropping like flies over there, and (Oh my god!) someone in Texas got it and they died!

Okay, okay wait. Let's take a look at the facts.

1. Did anybody even research Swine Flu before they started freaking out about it? Because it looks to me that symptoms are mostly the same.
2. Of course people are dropping like flies in Mexico, our health care is very different, and I'm going to wager a guess that our sanitary and health conditions are a bit better than theirs are.
3. The person who died in Texas was very young, infantile or a toddler. When you're that young, you don't really have much of an immune system yet.
4. Almost all other deaths caused by swine flu were on people who's immune systems probably could not handle it (ie. Women who had just given birth, the elderly, or babies)

Now it was this very fear that kept me from going to Japan. No, it wasn't that my mom was worried about it, my mom is a pharmacist, and held the same views as me about the flu (only, she had it worse because she actually had to deal with hysterical morons all day). No, it was the government of Japan, which was scared of swine flu in the country. Now, this is one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world, and they're scared of a microscopic organism that's no different from any other flu strains, except by name?

So what we have here is a case of collective scare. Just because one person is worried about it, we'll be worried about it too. The news of this new pandemic swept over us so quickly no one had time to grasp the facts. Now if you're smart (like me) you do a little back reading first before you shit your pants about something.

I've no choice but to agree with the genius creator of this venn diagram:

Bosco Sticks (And the lack of them)

Mood: Pissed off

I'd like to start this rant off by asking, who here loves the anomalies known as bosco sticks? Who doesn't love these cheese filled dick-shaped bread slices of awesome? Yeah, that's right, you know what I'm talking about. Delicious bread and cheese, with the side of the perfect marinara sauce. When you eat them it's as if all the pleasure in the world is in your mouth. Hot damn.

For those of you that don't know what a Bosco Stick is, here are some helpful comments from the Bosco's Pizza website:

• “The short answer is a breadstick filled with mozzarella cheese. The long answer is that they’re the hottest thing in food school service.”
• “I am the lunch lady who cooks the Bosco Sticks. The students LOVE them… My kids absolutely can’t wait to get in line. Our school also gives the students one Bosco Stick with their selection of yogurt. I think the students buy the yogurt just to get the Bosco Stick.”
• “They’re so popular that they’re certain to be on the menu on the annual headcount day to make sure kids come to school.”

As you can see, everybody loves Bosco. If you don't, kindly gtfo. Go find the nearest tub, fill it up, slit your wrists, and hold them in. But I digress.

Now normally, I get to enjoy these delicacies about 2 times a month, which keeps them....exciting, in a sense. That was when I had lunch early enough in the day where I could get some. However, this year I've been demoted to 6th period lunch. What the hell. Three years of 4th period, and suddenly this bullshit.

Today when I went to the cafeteria for lunch, my eyes were greeted by a friendly sight, Bosco Sticks for lunch, fuck yeah! Eagerly, I got in line. Usually, I don't have to wait 10 minutes in line, but for some reason, this year the lines have magically doubled. Mm, okay, no biggie right, because they obviously anticipated so many people wanting the deliciousness that are Bosco Sticks right? No, of course not. As usual the assholes at our school district order enough Bosco Sticks for period 4 and 5 lunch, leaving periods 6 and 7 in the lurch.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. By the time I got up to the lunch counter, there were no Boscos to be found. I was livid. I probably would have started a riot right there in the lunch room had the poor Lunch Lady not looked so apologetic. So I took my two eggrolls and got the hell out of that line. When I sat down at my table, I had a mini internal hatefest on the eggrolls. Well, it's not their fault they're not Bosco, I ate them anyway, but was left with a deep feeling of disappointment.

Let this be a lesson to our school: Buy more Bosco Sticks or I'm going to insight a riot. God damnit.

Buy Bosco Sticks for home (IL only)

Mm...

Bus Drivers

Mood: Angry

Normally, I'm a fan of public transportation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not 100% going green or anything like that, but hey, I'm not paying for the gas am I?

Now, I go to a school the next town over. The reason why isn't particularly important (let us just say I'm smart), but it is far enough that taking the bus is the only option I have, and I've been sucking it up and taking the bus for 3 years, going on 4 now. Always, the stop has been the same, a quaint little corner within view of my house. I'm late in the morning and the bus has pulled up? No problem, I just haul ass out the door and if the driver isn't mentally deficient, hopefully they will see me and wait the 20 seconds it takes for me to run. The times I've arrived at school have always varied, from extremely late freshman year, to very early junior year. It wouldn't bother me, but I have what's known at my school (disdainfully) as "zero hour". Now whoever invented this "non-existent hour" is genius I tell you. Tack 15 extra minutes of time into an already cramped morning for double the learning! (?)

Double? No, more like 15 minutes of sitting there with our fingers up our asses.

But I digress. That's a rant for another day.

Regardless. This year I need to be at school at around 7.05. Not a big problem right? The bus is supposed to be there at 7.00 anyway, right? Right?! Wrong actually. Apparently, with all the budget cuts in our district, they decided they had to cut the quality of bus drivers as well. In fact, for the first week, we didn't even have a permanent one.

In a nutshell, the Gods of Bus Hell decided to make my life miserable this year by sticking me on a bus, not just a bus, but a short bus. Now you may be thinking "Haha retard racer!", and you're actually right. Fuck my life.

But the madness doesn't stop there. Let me recount my happy (wat) adventure since I got my bus schedule on that fateful day in August...

• A chang in stop location from "Stop witin view" to "Stop 20 feet farther down the street", even though we got no new people on our stop. So why does it matter if the stop is twenty feet farther away or not? See below.
• For the first 3 days the bus sub (Thank you God, if you do exist) was the mental equivalent of a mentally challenged 5-year old. "Oh hahahaha I missed the stop gaiz lemme turn a'round kay?" The bastard was 20 minutes late to my stop; not a problem because he got me to school on time right? No, wrong, because it was pouring rain outside. Fml x2
  
• The second day of school, I find out that my stop isn't on the list for the ride home, although I know I'm on the right bus, and the stop before and after mine are on the list. Wait wait, lemme get this straight, you put me on the list for riding TO school, but not FROM school? How fucking hard is it to look at both lists and compare?
• After the incident described above, the bus aid tells me "Okay ride this one home and we'll send you the right bus you're supposed to be on tomorrow in study hall." Okay. Except the number you sent me in study hall was the number of the god-damned bus I was on in the first place. Am I the crazy one here? Or did everyone around me not graduate out of elementary school? It's not THAT hard people...
• Next week, I get on the bus and sit next to my friend, who previously warned me via text of a large, disgusting insect clinging to the window of the seat in front of us. "Okay" I think, getting on the bus. I go and sit down next to him. HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING SO LARGE AND FUCKING SCARY IN MY LIFE, GOD FUCKING DAMNIT SHIT FUCK A;LDKFA;LKDSFJASDKJF. But srsly, I've not yet been able to find out what that thing is. Good thing we got it to fly out the window. It looked a little something like this (scroll down), and about as big as my hand.
  
• Just when it seemed like the scheduel was setting in, for some reason, unanounced to anyone on the bus, he starts showing up 8 minutes early. Wat.
• Oh, he added a new stop. Okay. Try telling someone next time you senile old bastard.
  
• And that wouldn't have been so bad if our Retard Racer (From now on, RR), wasn't already over-flowing with kids. In the afternoon, when we add more people, at least three people are sitting three to a seat. Sometimes God has no mercy.
  
• Now just the other day he showed up 10 minutes early and I caught him turning the corner away from me. I started running up the street in order to catch up to him, but being that a bus can travel faster than a human can, it picked up the other person and drove away without a care, leaving me standing there, panting and yelling profanities into the calm suburban morning.

And to top it all off, I'm pretty sure my bus driver is a pervert. I'm so glad I'm not the last stop. And I'm never wearing a T-shirt with words on it again.

For what does the Kat rage?

Whoa. Hang on a second partner. You've stumbled onto my rage blog. If you are weak of heart, please quickly click this link to navigate to safer places.



Welcome and enjoy your stay. I hope you're of a sound mind. You won't be by the time you leave. Who am I, and why do I find it necessary to vent my frustration about the tribulations of everyday life? Read on to find out.

My name is Katelyn. More commonly known as Katie or Kat by some. As of this writing I'm a high school senior. I'd say I'm average, but studies show that I'm actually a little less than that. For one, I'm not afraid to tell you what I think of you. Well, not anymore. Which means if you're reading this, shaking your head and thinking "Wow, what a fucking tool.", you're probably right, and you can correct this little mistake by clicking the button that looks like this [x] <--- on the upper right hand window.

My vital stats -
Age: Too young for you
Eyes: Hazel
Height: 5'4"
Weight: Wouldn't you like to know
Blood Type: A-

Favs -
Color: Rainbow
Animal: Fox
Movie: Too many
Music: See above

Although really, much of my personality and preferences you'll find out as you read along. For those of you sticking around, let me dive deeper into why I find a rage blog appropriate. For one, I can be a very, very angry person. However, I take joy in that rage and turn it to comedy. That is my purpose here. To vent my frustration for your amusement. However, be forewarned, if you are ignorant, it would be wise to leave now. This blog is opinionated, yes, to my opinions. You are free to leave comments as you like with your thoughts and views, but do not expect a retort from me. You have your views and I have mine. With that being said, let the rage commence :)