Bosco Sticks (And the lack of them)

Mood: Pissed off

I'd like to start this rant off by asking, who here loves the anomalies known as bosco sticks? Who doesn't love these cheese filled dick-shaped bread slices of awesome? Yeah, that's right, you know what I'm talking about. Delicious bread and cheese, with the side of the perfect marinara sauce. When you eat them it's as if all the pleasure in the world is in your mouth. Hot damn.

For those of you that don't know what a Bosco Stick is, here are some helpful comments from the Bosco's Pizza website:

• “The short answer is a breadstick filled with mozzarella cheese. The long answer is that they’re the hottest thing in food school service.”
• “I am the lunch lady who cooks the Bosco Sticks. The students LOVE them… My kids absolutely can’t wait to get in line. Our school also gives the students one Bosco Stick with their selection of yogurt. I think the students buy the yogurt just to get the Bosco Stick.”
• “They’re so popular that they’re certain to be on the menu on the annual headcount day to make sure kids come to school.”

As you can see, everybody loves Bosco. If you don't, kindly gtfo. Go find the nearest tub, fill it up, slit your wrists, and hold them in. But I digress.

Now normally, I get to enjoy these delicacies about 2 times a month, which keeps them....exciting, in a sense. That was when I had lunch early enough in the day where I could get some. However, this year I've been demoted to 6th period lunch. What the hell. Three years of 4th period, and suddenly this bullshit.

Today when I went to the cafeteria for lunch, my eyes were greeted by a friendly sight, Bosco Sticks for lunch, fuck yeah! Eagerly, I got in line. Usually, I don't have to wait 10 minutes in line, but for some reason, this year the lines have magically doubled. Mm, okay, no biggie right, because they obviously anticipated so many people wanting the deliciousness that are Bosco Sticks right? No, of course not. As usual the assholes at our school district order enough Bosco Sticks for period 4 and 5 lunch, leaving periods 6 and 7 in the lurch.

Anyway, back to the story at hand. By the time I got up to the lunch counter, there were no Boscos to be found. I was livid. I probably would have started a riot right there in the lunch room had the poor Lunch Lady not looked so apologetic. So I took my two eggrolls and got the hell out of that line. When I sat down at my table, I had a mini internal hatefest on the eggrolls. Well, it's not their fault they're not Bosco, I ate them anyway, but was left with a deep feeling of disappointment.

Let this be a lesson to our school: Buy more Bosco Sticks or I'm going to insight a riot. God damnit.

Buy Bosco Sticks for home (IL only)

Mm...