Bus Drivers

Mood: Angry

Normally, I'm a fan of public transportation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not 100% going green or anything like that, but hey, I'm not paying for the gas am I?

Now, I go to a school the next town over. The reason why isn't particularly important (let us just say I'm smart), but it is far enough that taking the bus is the only option I have, and I've been sucking it up and taking the bus for 3 years, going on 4 now. Always, the stop has been the same, a quaint little corner within view of my house. I'm late in the morning and the bus has pulled up? No problem, I just haul ass out the door and if the driver isn't mentally deficient, hopefully they will see me and wait the 20 seconds it takes for me to run. The times I've arrived at school have always varied, from extremely late freshman year, to very early junior year. It wouldn't bother me, but I have what's known at my school (disdainfully) as "zero hour". Now whoever invented this "non-existent hour" is genius I tell you. Tack 15 extra minutes of time into an already cramped morning for double the learning! (?)

Double? No, more like 15 minutes of sitting there with our fingers up our asses.

But I digress. That's a rant for another day.

Regardless. This year I need to be at school at around 7.05. Not a big problem right? The bus is supposed to be there at 7.00 anyway, right? Right?! Wrong actually. Apparently, with all the budget cuts in our district, they decided they had to cut the quality of bus drivers as well. In fact, for the first week, we didn't even have a permanent one.

In a nutshell, the Gods of Bus Hell decided to make my life miserable this year by sticking me on a bus, not just a bus, but a short bus. Now you may be thinking "Haha retard racer!", and you're actually right. Fuck my life.

But the madness doesn't stop there. Let me recount my happy (wat) adventure since I got my bus schedule on that fateful day in August...

• A chang in stop location from "Stop witin view" to "Stop 20 feet farther down the street", even though we got no new people on our stop. So why does it matter if the stop is twenty feet farther away or not? See below.
• For the first 3 days the bus sub (Thank you God, if you do exist) was the mental equivalent of a mentally challenged 5-year old. "Oh hahahaha I missed the stop gaiz lemme turn a'round kay?" The bastard was 20 minutes late to my stop; not a problem because he got me to school on time right? No, wrong, because it was pouring rain outside. Fml x2
  
• The second day of school, I find out that my stop isn't on the list for the ride home, although I know I'm on the right bus, and the stop before and after mine are on the list. Wait wait, lemme get this straight, you put me on the list for riding TO school, but not FROM school? How fucking hard is it to look at both lists and compare?
• After the incident described above, the bus aid tells me "Okay ride this one home and we'll send you the right bus you're supposed to be on tomorrow in study hall." Okay. Except the number you sent me in study hall was the number of the god-damned bus I was on in the first place. Am I the crazy one here? Or did everyone around me not graduate out of elementary school? It's not THAT hard people...
• Next week, I get on the bus and sit next to my friend, who previously warned me via text of a large, disgusting insect clinging to the window of the seat in front of us. "Okay" I think, getting on the bus. I go and sit down next to him. HOLY SHIT I'VE NEVER SEEN SOMETHING SO LARGE AND FUCKING SCARY IN MY LIFE, GOD FUCKING DAMNIT SHIT FUCK A;LDKFA;LKDSFJASDKJF. But srsly, I've not yet been able to find out what that thing is. Good thing we got it to fly out the window. It looked a little something like this (scroll down), and about as big as my hand.
  
• Just when it seemed like the scheduel was setting in, for some reason, unanounced to anyone on the bus, he starts showing up 8 minutes early. Wat.
• Oh, he added a new stop. Okay. Try telling someone next time you senile old bastard.
  
• And that wouldn't have been so bad if our Retard Racer (From now on, RR), wasn't already over-flowing with kids. In the afternoon, when we add more people, at least three people are sitting three to a seat. Sometimes God has no mercy.
  
• Now just the other day he showed up 10 minutes early and I caught him turning the corner away from me. I started running up the street in order to catch up to him, but being that a bus can travel faster than a human can, it picked up the other person and drove away without a care, leaving me standing there, panting and yelling profanities into the calm suburban morning.

And to top it all off, I'm pretty sure my bus driver is a pervert. I'm so glad I'm not the last stop. And I'm never wearing a T-shirt with words on it again.