By Request: Highschool Staff

Mood: I'd kill someone if I had a knife

Now as many of you know, there are/were many great and wonderful staff members at your highschool. However, you also know that there are people there that make you want to go knife your wrists in the bathroom, or at least key their car. Now these staff members come in several varities: the childeaters, the brainless morons, and "Haha I think I'm so funny but no one else does".

I'd like to begin with one that hits very close to home for me and probably several of my highschool classmates. The Childeater. These are the kind of people that make you wonder why they work in a school at all: they have no social skills except when they're bitching and complaining about every little thing you happen to do wrong, they lurk around every corner of the building, watching you and waiting for you to screw up, and when you do screw up, you can bet they'll be there, breathing down your neck, ready with a one-way ticket to the deans office.

Now like I mentioned, this hits close to home for me. At my school there are two deans who, I swear, should never have children, and if they do, I feel so sorry for them. Now, the one in particular I'd like to focus on is very, very mean, to put it nicely. I'm not going to name names, but here's a picture for reference:

Ah-hem. Last year, everyday after Japanese class, I'd be wandering down the hall, and they'd be there, standing at the stairwell, glaring as if we were some kind of disgusting monster that deserved the chopping block. If we were laughing or talking, they'd quickly shut us down with a "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS" reminder, and then bitch and nag until we got our IDs out, because God forbid the tiny asian girl (not me) and the average girl carrying a shitload of books (me) should be strangers in this school that somehow got past everyone on the first two floors and were now making our way around the third, looking for victems. I don't even have room in my backpack for my binder, obviously I'm not carrying an AK-47 in there. Reguardless of the situation, s/he was needlessly rude, and always seemed to single me out.

For example: One day I was sitting in Pre-Calc minding my own business when this person came in and asked me to come out into the hall with them. I'm freaking out because maybe one of my parents got into an accident or something, but no, apparently my shirt is too low and I'm "disrupting the learning enviornment" with my cleavage. Ho-lee shit, it's 6th period anyway, who cares? Maybe my boobs are big but that's no reason to single me out. And why aren't you stopping all those Mexican girls wearing haltertops and midriffs anyway, instead of chasing me around? Surely their muffin tops are a lot worse to look at than my cleavage? I'm calling shannagins.

But I digress. I won't pull out the race card just yet, although I'm sure if I wanted I could file a lawsuite against the school for racial discrimination. Anyway, this rant is about highschool staff. In short: Fuck Childeaters, you'll be dead in about 5 years from ulcers do to your mismanaged rage. At least I don't take mine out on kids.

Anyway, onto the group I like to call the Brainless Moron group. Now, normally, teachers teach students, right? Afterall this is the natural order of things. However, sometimes in your highschool career along comes a teacher that knows nothing, quite literally nothing, and you end up telling them how to do their job. The thing is you don't get paid for it.

I thought I'd be blessed, and never have one of these teachers, but this year I got the curse. I have no idea what's going on in my AP chemistry class, and neither does anyone else, which is sad because all of us took general chemistry sophemore or junior year. Or is it? Maybe we just can't follow our teacher, who's about as lost as Helen Keller in a circular room. It's not to say she's bad teacher, it's just do to our school budget cuts, we have a physics major teaching chemistry. Now of course there are some similarities between subjects, but that's like asking a dog how to be a cat. It just doesn't make sense, and it's completely pointless either way.

Now the last subject, "Haha I think I'm so funny but no one else does" is pretty self explanitory, so with that, good people, I bid you adeiu.